High-density fun

When I was kid, I spent a lot of time playing the Sims 2. The Sims 2 taught me that spending 10 minutes on some "fun" activities is a lot more fun than spending 10 minutes on other fun activities. For my Sims, spending time sliding down a pool slide, watching sports, or having sex was more fun than doing the crossword in the paper.

Crash Course Study Skills calls these more rewarding activities "high-density fun." If you think of yourself as needing a certain amount of fun every day, there are a couple ways to do it - you could do it inefficiently by tweeting every 5 minutes all day, or you could do it more effectively by studying for 4 hours and then closing your books and meeting up with your friends.

High-density fun is clearly more rewarding, but this year in particular I've had trouble having lots of fun - it's been a tough year for that! There have been a couple of reasons:

1. I've been really down because of the pandemic, and when you're down, you forget what's fun.

Apparently, people with depression often believe that they won't enjoy activities they normally like - but during and after the activities they say that they had a good time. They often surprise themselves!

There were times this year where I didn't expect to enjoy anything (looking at you, Lockdown #3) but when I did go out for a brisk walk and then sunk into a warm bubble bath, I always felt better.

I keep a list on my phone now of activities I enjoy in case I ever need a boost and can't think of what to do. If you're feeling like you can't think of something fun to come up with, it's worth experimenting with things you used to enjoy - you might find you still like it more than you'd expect.

2. I haven't been able to see the people or do the things I normally would.

One of my greatest sources of joy is having a small group of friends over, opening a bottle of wine, and cooking dinner for everyone. Another is stopping by a coworker's desk and chatting for a few minutes while we snack on a cheeky biscuit. Even just going to the library has been harder than normal.

Some things have easy alternatives - my library has been happy to mail me books, and many other libraries are happy to do click and collect, or there's always Amazon. Some are more difficult, like visiting with friends. I did enjoy hosting a murder mystery on Gather Town, going rollerblading with a friend on the 2nd storey of a large building, and more recently hosting picnics outdoors. My husband also bought us a two-person board game series called Arkham Horror that we've been playing through which made life a lot better.

3. I've had less energy to plan things.

Now that I'm finally allowed to see people again, I've been surprised I haven't been hanging out with people every single day - but it turns out it's exhausting to come through a pandemic year! I feel pretty worn out from not only the grief and challenges of the past year but also the present challenges of keeping track of Covid rates in my area, trying to plan new kinds of activities, and adapting to the new normal. However, I've still found it really worthwhile to try to hang out with people outside at least once a week. I just check my phone for a day when the weather looks good and then invite people to drinks at an outdoor restaurant or a picnic at the park. I try not to get hung up on a particular person and just invite a bunch of people. It's definitely helped that I'm part of the Effective Altruism community here in London and so I've been able to meet some new people through that.

Now that I'm double vaxxed, I'm looking forward to getting back to cooking for my friends, chatting to coworkers and maybe even attending some parties(!) - but whatever situation you're in, I hope you're able to find new and better ways to give yourself high-density fun.